One of the toi­let read­ing options at my apart­ment is the 1978 edi­tion of The Amy Van­der­bilt Com­plete Book of Eti­quette. It is filled with help­ful advice on how you should address your letters, monogram your shirts, and throw taste­ful par­ties. The stan­dards advo­cated seem quaint and humor­ous from today’s perspective.

In many ways, the rules of eti­quette seem com­pletely arbi­trary. How can there be a “right” way to eat food or dress? Yet there is sub-set of eti­quette that has a firm intel­lec­tual foun­da­tion — cour­tesy or man­ners. Take Mrs. Vanderbilt’s pas­sage on teach­ing your chil­dren man­ners: Read the rest of this entry →